Fathers are often confused, because there are no clear, step by step manuals and instructions on many aspects of a father of the groom speech. As you continue reading this article, we will present the question and an answer as detailed as possible.
Question: Why are there rules for the groom’s father speeches? Isn’t it enough if I simply speak as I can, as a simple man, without “extra” preparation?
I might begin like “there are rules, because …” and continue with a long sentence, but let me clarify in parts, in details. More Groom’s Father Speeches
Before I can give a complete answer, let me list some of the known and unknown rules:
- You must be in good knowledge and respect of wedding speech formalism.
- You must not be tired.
- You shouldn’t consume any alcohol before speaking.
- You must be highly aware of what’s going on (psychologically) and you must not create self-induced states.
- Your emotions must be on the positive, controlled side.
- Your nerves must be in a calm state.
- Your speech must flow in a natural, but professional way.
- You must have a perfect body language in all aspects.
- You must prove excellence in your behavior before, during and also after your speech.
- You must be very respectful with the newlyweds, and with the guests too.
Wow, you might say! Quite some rules, aren’t they?
The above list of rules can already give you an answer to the second part of the question. It is clear and obvious as the sunlight shining through your window that you can’t just have a “simple” speech, because it wouldn’t consider all these rules and thus it would become a lot worse than desired. Also, if anyone notices your lack of preparation, a lot of judgment will be thrown to you, some of it directly and another part indirectly, behind your back.
But what about all these rules? Let’s understand each of them!
- You must be in good knowledge and respect of wedding speech formalism. Wedding speeches have a structure and a certain language you should speak in. If you don’t keep the formal elements in mind, if you don’t speak in the tonality and style of a father of the groom wedding speech, then your speech is worthless, even if it’s full of good messages. To shortly present it, you need an introduction, you need to talk about the groom and the bride (or the couple) and then share words of wisdom, advices or quotes, ending it all with a toast proposal.
- You must not be tired. If you are tired, there are a lot of risks. First of all, a tired man can never focus as hard as a man who slept well during the night. Then, if you are tired, you don’t have patience and then your emotions and feelings burst out even if you don’t want them. Thus, without noticing, you end up having uncontrollable behaviors. Also, if you are tired, you can forget some parts of your speech, which is pretty lame if it happens. This is why resting before the wedding day is highly recommended!
- You shouldn’t consume any alcohol before speaking. With alcohol, the problems are similar to the above presented problems that come if you don’t sleep enough. Even if you think and feel that you are a brave or powerful man, you shouldn’t consume any alcohol. You might end up disappointing others and yourself too, so it’s better to be safe.
- You must be highly aware of what’s going on (psychologically) and you must not create self-induced states. This is one of the essential parts as to why there are rules for a father of the groom speech. Without rules, you will easily have states and moods that aren’t desirable and overall you might end up being psychologically unstable. Thus, if you are well-prepared and aware of every small detail, you are not exposed to such things.
- Your emotions must be on the positive, controlled side. This is the continued part of the previous point. Being prepared will also mean that you got rid of what was negative in your relationships, in your thoughts and you are now able to think positively and with respect to the newlyweds. These things, while they seem less important, are in fact highly important. If you respect these simple things, your father of the groom speech will be no less than great!
- Your nerves must be in a calm state. If you are in a calm state, then you are able to keep all the details in mind. Also, if you are calmed down, then your mind is focused and your body language is also controlled. With a controlled body language, you will give out messages that are well-received by the lovebirds and the guests. So rock that father of the groom speech!
- Your speech must flow in a natural, but professional way. If your speech is able to flow, it means that is very well structured, logically speaking. In any structured speech, there is already formalism and a level of professionalism. However, true professionalism is only achieved when everything is taken into consideration, from the smallest aspects to the greatest ones. In order to make that happen, you need to study various ideas and sources of inspiration, but also be open-minded to accept what is told to be of good use and of a good level. To make a speech flow naturally means that you must speak in simple words that are easily understood, it also means that you keep the speech structure and be creative enough to add ideas of your own, which aren’t necessarily presented in books or on the internet.
- You must have a perfect body language in all aspects. This is an area in which if you have prior experience, you already know what it takes. If there is no prior experience, then I recommend that you read books and follow some online courses, seminars, articles or videos. All these sources will provide you with the necessary theories and rules, descriptions. After all, you can find all of what body language means during a speech. Then, I recommend you to follow body language in wedding speeches, especially father of the groom speeches. Body language is important, but why? The reason is simple: even if you don’t notice, people understand body language. That means that you must use the proper language!
- You must prove excellence in your behavior before, during and also after your father of the groom speech. This is a weird rule and you might miss thinking about it. So, it’s a great thing that you are reading this article, since you now know how important this aspect is! Your behavior represents your character, as well as your attitude (towards people and situations) represents your character. If your character is a constructive one, a character which is worth to be followed and taken into consideration, then people will respect your presence and they will listen to your speech as well as they will want to talk to you. If the situation is the opposite, people will disrespect you and your son, and might also feel sorry for the bride and keep telling her untrue things. You don’t want to create such situations, do you? Then, have a great attitude and an excellent, remarkable behavior!
- You must be very respectful with the newlyweds, and with the guests too. Respect means a lot during your father of the groom wedding speech. If you show respect towards others, the same amount (or doubled) of respect will come back to you, without asking for it. Then you know how it is with expectations. If you expect people to have a certain type of relation with you, if you expect them to behave in a certain way with you and your son, then be the person to show them how it’s done practically!