It is often times a misunderstanding to assume that body posture, eyes and small details as such make no difference in the quality of a father of the groom speech. Reality is that oftentimes, people forget the essential small glimpses of truth that truly transform things. Download 25 Father of Groom Speech Examples
One of the small truths is how important body language is, not just for a father, but for anyone speaking at a wedding. The sad truth is that too little accent is put on this side of the “story” of preparing your speech, and not much light is shared to reveal details.
The voice you use
We all know that different voices can render different effects. Whether you have a calm, engaging, mad, sad, business, official or other voice, the message you read or say gets understood differently. As you know, many things are also perceived based on how the speaker addresses the people attending.
But the real deal is to truly understand how to change your voice, based on what you are currently saying. Let’s be more specific.
For an introduction, you should use an engaging voice. Many of the reactions and the memories of the guests who were present are going to be based mostly on how good or bad the introduction was. If you had a poor intro, they might not even be interested in the follow-up.
So, again, you should make sure that the voice you are using will keep people’s attention fully directed to your voice. No, screaming, shouting or anything similar is just not the voice I am talking about! I am referring to a calm voice, but at the same time a voice of calling people to action, a voice that wants to connect with the guests. Find Here MORE Speech Examples
The main speech body
When you talk, it’s important that people don’t lose you. That means you need to make a logical connection between every structural part of the father of the groom speech. Also, you need to ensure the quality of the information you present. For instance, if you start speaking about yesterday’s baseball match, I am not sure people will be interested, because they are gathered for your son’s wedding. Also, if you keep repeating something you find amazing or interesting, the guests will probably notice quickly and they will also lose interest.
Also, since it’s the main part of your speech, you should have a colored voice. Do not be a monotone speaker, who would be great to read a bedtime story but would never be able to say a wedding speech properly. You should color the voice, by living and feeling every word you are saying. In other words, a speech that comes from your heart is a speech that can truly allow you to have the voice adjusted to the message. If that’s not how you approach things, you might need as many repetitions as Hollywood actors need before playing a main character. If you are an actor somewhere? You then know what I am talking about and how people expect you to speak honestly.
When you finish a sentence, your voice should shift into that direction and make it sound like it is finished. I often hear people, speakers, who just finish a sentence (not a question) and they still make it sound like it was a question. Then, as a partner in conversation, you get stuck for a moment and wonder “did they just ask this?” Ideally, you realize soon enough that it was something affirmative and not interrogative, but what I am trying to emphasize is: make the punctuation mark clear to the listener, by using the proper tone of your voice.
You also need to make sure about the speed of speaking. You see, while speaking quickly might help in a business meeting when you have a limited time (let’s say 10 minutes) and you need to mention lots of things, a fast speaker is not a good wedding speaker. You need to have a normal, relaxed speed and your voice needs to show that calmness.
What people also seek from your voice is whether you’re confident enough or you’re just like an average or below-average speaker. The only way to sound confident is if you know what your speech text is entirely, from the first sentence to the last. You need to practice that of course.
If you have some jokes in the speech body, make your voice properly transmit those jokes. You know, there are certain voices for each joke – and not every joke is good for a speech.
Toasting – actually ending the speech
Since it’s the last part, you need to change your voice again, to something cheery and engaging at the same time. When you call people to action (toast for the couple), you can’t say that in the same voice as you related the love story of the young couple. So, again, double-check and practice at home, making sure that your voice somehow reflects that it’s the end of the speech.
Position of your hands and palms
The way you hold your hands, especially your palms and fingers changes the message a lot. There are certain body language elements that have been established at least decades ago, some of them even centuries ago. But, just to not enter a history class, let’s assume it’s all a matter of a long time ago, long enough to assume that people already consider and read such hidden messages.
If you watch TV, you know already that the news reporters hold their hands in a specific way. You also know that probably in many different circumstances, people don’t hold their hands like that because they aren’t talking about some recent news of what’s happened here or there.
Also, as business meetings are held and you see videos or attend some, you will see another gesture frequently used. People who are experts in marketing or business presentations know what I am talking about. If you notice and if the speaker is professional, a common way you’ll see them hold their palms is close to each other, with fingers pointing together towards the center – an attitude of confidence, knowledge, wisdom and reliability. This is a standard in many marketing and business speeches or presentations. I don’t say this gesture doesn’t change, but it’s like a template many people use.
Then, in movies, you will see both realistic and invented ways to hold your hands while speaking. You will immediately notice that at home, you have a certain body language. At work, your body language changes, as if your entire body would understand: this is business, I must stay hired and earn money, I must fit into the office scene.
Then, last but not least, there are weddings. People generally prefer holding their glasses of champagne way before they reach the toast proposal. The reason for this is because it clears their minds and avoids confusion. Many times the confusion arises because the speaker doesn’t have a clue whether to hold his hands together, stretch them out, point towards something, hold them near the body or do something else. And really, if you don’t know how to handle it and adjust the hand position based on the message, the “hold an object” technique is a lot better for you.
Eyes – what are you looking at?
It is very important to analyze: what are you looking at? If you don’t feel confident enough, you are likely to mess up this part. What often happens, if there’s not enough confidence, is that fathers keep looking at their wives, some relatives, or their sons. While it’s okay to look at people you know and have a good relationship with, the father of the groom speech is not the moment to fix your eyes on someone or something.
The problem, often, is not necessarily how you fixed your eyes but it’s how this looks like from the outside. People might see you and wonder:
- Is he shy?
- Didn’t he sleep this night?
- Does he have an adventure with that woman he’s constantly looking at?
The list could continue. Even at the last point, when you are stressed, you might not even realize you’re looking at a woman constantly and she’s probably smiling back to you. Since your brain is rather focused on saying the speech, you are not in full control in those moments. Guests are there, they notice and then gossip comes. That’s how some disasters can start: people assume fake information, they take it as real, and start telling others.
Even if the above scenario doesn’t happen in your case, there are other potential dangers. One of the potential problems is that the guests might feel like you’re not entirely speaking for them to listen, or that you are not even connected. If they have that feeling, they too tend to disconnect, start speaking with each other and ignore your message. You don’t enjoy that, do you? I bet you don’t, especially since you had so much stress when preparing the speech and now you are also a bit nervous.
How to keep your eyes naturally, in a way supporting the quality of the father of the groom speech? You should be relaxed, engaged, and keep naturally looking at people. Don’t fix your eyes on someone for more than 5-6 seconds, but keep looking at everyone so that they feel connected and they see you are confident, the opposite of how a shy speaker would act.